Insight: Caffeine, critiques and creative burnout embody my fashion school reality check

While every other 5-year-old was figuring out if they wanted to be a firefighter or a nurse, I knew I wanted to be a fashion designer. Arguably, fashion design is the least essential of these three careers, but it’s always been my passion. 

Joining ASU FIDM was my dream — the thrill of being thrown headfirst into everything fashion-related was exactly what I imagined. Being surrounded by resources, experts and some seriously stylish people made me think I was going to coast through my program and come out the next Alexander McQueen or Jacquemus. 

But two semesters in, I’ve discovered the unexpected truth: studying art hasn’t exactly been the nurturing ground for creativity I envisioned. It kind of sucked the life out of it.

At the start, I was surrounded by people who shared my passion. The adrenaline of sketching ideas and creating fantastical collections made me feel like I was in my element. Ultimately, the dreaded burnout hit me like one of Miranda Priestly’s coats from “The Devil Wears Prada,” but what unexpectedly followed was the constant drive to be “better” and produce more, which left me feeling drained of inspiration.

Fashion school competition isn’t just about creating beautiful designs — it’s about creating something that stands out, something that can be seen as “revolutionary” when compared to everyone else.  

What was once an exciting opportunity to showcase my vision and voice now feels like a never-ending race to stay ahead of each season. With every assignment, there’s this sense to outdo the last. It’s exhausting.

Sometimes I envy academic majors, because if you follow the book and study, you’ll hopefully make it out with a stable career. With fashion or anything art-related, you can put your heart and soul into your work and you still have to outdo yourself over and over. It’s never just studying for the next test, it’s pushing yourself to your creative limits, reaching for the next unheard-of concept — and even then that might not be enough to “make it.” 

The worst part? The more I push myself to be creative, the more I find myself unable to create anything at all.

I’m overwhelmed with ideas. My mind is full of half-realized concepts, but when it comes to sitting down and executing my thoughts, I scroll TikTok or procrastinate with any chore I find. Instead of excitement, I feel pressure. Instead of inspiration, I feel drained. It’s like the more I focus on trying to impress everyone, the less I’m able to create designs that speak to me.

The burnout is real. It’s not just the casual “I’m tired” fatigue. It’s that “I’ve been working for the last 72 hours trying to conceptualize my collection only to think of the same little black dress made by everyone, and I can’t remember the last time I ate something that wasn’t an oat milk matcha latte” kind of exhaustion.

READ MORE: Ditch that cup of coffee: Top 5 matcha cafes around ASU

With long hours spent at the studio and more scrolling through Pinterest, Vogue and WWD – it leads to unhealthy habits of skipping meals, caffeine addiction and all-nighters. The exhaustion is not only in your physical state, but your mental state too. And let’s be real: it’s pretty hard to stay inspired when you’re operating on no sleep, matcha and competition. 

The joy I once felt in creating is starting to feel more like an obligation than a passion. Class is no longer just lectures, but a high-stakes competition where you’re constantly evaluating your worth based on how your work stacks up next to everyone else’s. The more I compare myself to others, the less I’m able to remember why I got into fashion in the first place.

I know I’m not alone in feeling this way. A lot of my peers have, or will have experienced, similar frustrations. The constant pressure to manufacture collections fuels the fear that none of us will ever be good enough to make it.

But here’s what I have learned — I will never be “good enough” because that is others’ perceptions of my work, and the only critique that holds merit is my own. Creativity isn’t about meeting others’ standards, but creating something you want to say through your work, even if it means failing sometimes.

I wish there was a clear answer to overcoming creativity and burnout fatigue, but there’s not. Burnout isn’t a switch that goes on and off. Something that’s helped me was deleting constant-consumption apps like Pinterest and instead resorting to books or films for inspiration. 

But to be honest, beating burnout starts with allowing room for growth, mistakes and even failure. Studying fashion is a balancing act between experimentation and improvement — not a space for perfectionism. 

I’m slowly learning to balance the pressure of production and self-expression, remembering my creativity comes from freedom, not fear. 

But if I have to sit through another critique and listen to someone tell me my art needs “just a little more refinement,” I’ll at least have a lot of material for a future collection on burnout and existential dread. 

But hey, at least I’ll be creating something.

Edited by Andrew Dirst, Abigail Beck and Katrina Michalak. 

Reach the reporter at [email protected].

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